Toasting is not easy. Even if you aren’t the Best Man or Maid of Honor, you could be expected to toast the bride and groom. These days, toasting ceremonies take on a life of their own. You don’t want to be the only guest at the party without something tactful-yet-witty to say. So, plan ahead!

Dos:

• Mention of the love you see that the couple has for one another. For example, “I can tell by the way you look at one another…”
• Mention the beautiful ceremony and/or day. For example, “This beautiful ceremony [day] symbolizes the happiness I wish for you…”
• Keep it short and sweet. For example, you might recite an appropriate cultural wedding toast. Or, you might simply say, “I wish you lifelong happiness and prosperity. Congratulations.”
• Consider having one drink to calm your nerves.

Don’ts:

• Reference low points or rough spots in the couple’s history, “you’ve had your ups and downs”. Instead, say, “You have proved you can handle things, if you have each other.”
• Reference any ex-partners, ever. period. Even if that person is you. Instead, mention the friendship you share with the couple.
• Make claims expecting the marriage to produce children, even if you know the couple has immediate plans for kids. Instead, try, “I wish for you that all your hopes and dreams come true.”
• Rhyme.
• Tell jokes or embarrassing stories. They are rarely effective and might embarrass the bride and groom.
• Mention sex, drugs, illegal activities, or drunken evenings.
• Mimic TV commercials, movies, or sitcoms.
• Have more than a drink–or maybe two–before giving your toast. Even a slight buzz can slur your speech and keep you from sounding articulate.

Remember, the videographer will record every word and the guests’ and couple’s reactions. Make your toast one that they will be proud to show at their 25th and 50th Anniversary parties.